


Equal Shares

by babyblueglasses



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Drabble, Just One Bed Trope, M/M, Nonsense, One Shot, Sharing a Bed, Tropes, acting like children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-14 00:48:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7992442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyblueglasses/pseuds/babyblueglasses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A stranding in an icy land leaves two stubborn divas with just one bed to share.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Equal Shares

Black smoke billowed from a hole in the sky, marring the pale winter light above them with an eerie, otherworldly slash. 

“And there goes our ride,” Tony said. He set an armored hand against his hip, noting that it was a shame that the snow and ice kept him from taking back his faceplate. The slightly automated sound of his voice coming from the suit’s speakers didn’t do his disdain full justice. 

“Thanks to you, Stark.” Loki said from a few feet from behind him. 

Tony turned around, the suit stiffly navigating the snow as he did. “I wasn’t the one that got knocked in the shoulder and flat on my ass, wasting our time and missing the portal.” 

“A fate I’m certain I would’ve avoided had I not been saving you from your own ineptitude.” Loki set his shoulders back, standing taller as he sneered down at the mortal. “You should be grateful to me.” 

“Don’t act so noble,” Tony said. “I’m sure you did it to save your own ass. Probably to make big brother proud or whatever.” Tony set Jarvis to scan the area for something inhabitable. Suit or no suit, he wouldn’t last the night in this cold. “I would’ve killed that thing in another minute and gotten through on my own anyway.” It wasn’t his fault he’d been attacked by a wild beast. “I didn’t need your help.” 

“Really? I had no idea that Midgardians could fight after they were decapitated.” Snow clung to Loki’s hair, his eyes rimmed red and skin pallid as he crossed his arms in on himself, seeming inordinately displeased with the situation. At least he was miserable too. 

“When’s the next portal going to open?” Tony asked, ignoring his gibe. Everyone else had made it through—Hulk, Thor, Natasha, Clint, Steve, Sam. Why the hell did he have to get stuck here with Thor’s death-allergic brother? Tony cursed the hole in the sky, knowing there was no longer a portal there, or even a hole, really. Nothing but a blazing remnant of what was supposed to be their ticket home. 

“Tomorrow,” Loki said. “If we are lucky.” He walked out in front of Tony, starting for the distant tree line. 

Tony hesitated. 

He could let Loki rot out here, which seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to do. It hadn’t been his idea to invite the bastard along. Tony groaned. Thor would murder him if Loki didn’t come back from this trip. “Jarvis has found somewhere we can stay,” Tony said reluctantly. Loki stopped, not turning around, but listening. “It’s small, but seems like an artificially created dwelling. It’d be better than taking shelter in the trees.” 

“Just one?” Loki asked. 

“Yes,” Tony said. “It may be occupied, but there’s nothing else within reach.” 

“Then we walk,” Loki answered. 

“Wait up,” Tony said. “You don’t even know the way.” Loki stopped, clenching his fists, but said nothing as Tony took a few steps ahead of him. He followed, glaring at the back of Tony’s head. 

They plowed forward in silence for the next hour, until they came to a dismal shack against the side of a mountain. The lock was easy enough to break. 

Loki dragged his finger through a thin layer of dust. “I do not expect that they should be back tonight,” he decided. Tony gave the room a dubious once over. It barely had enough room to fit them both. 

It was insulated at least, and there was an empty fireplace. “We should start a—” Loki had already thought of it. Flames roared to life. “Fire,” Tony finished. He took the faceplate back. It would be difficult to stay in his armor, but he had no desire to be defenseless around Thor’s feral brother. Loki caught his eye as he glanced that way, weighing his options. 

“There is no need to be so frightened, Stark.” Loki grinned, broad and delighted. “I have no intention to kill you.” He slicked a hand through his hair. “Tonight.” 

“That’s reassuring.” Tony took a step towards the fire. 

“Killing you would upset Thor and inconvenience my plans,” Loki said. He sounded just serious enough that Tony believed him. And it was fucking hot with the fire going. 

Tony freed himself of the suit, his under armor clinging to his skin with sweat. At least Loki was no better for the wear. He had abandoned his heaviest leathers by the fire, draping their snow drenched forms over a thin metal rail. He _almost_ looked pleasant in the plain thin slacks and shirt. The V in the collar of the shirt was crossed haphazardly with strings that clung to his sweat slicked chest. 

He sneered when he caught Tony looking, but said nothing. 

This was going to be miserable. 

Tony went for the one door in the whole place, hoping against hope that it would lead to a shower. Tony closed his eyes when he set sight on the pitiful excuse for a toilet in the center of the room. There was no running water. He shut the door, breathing in slowly through his nose. It was going to be fine. Maybe. 

Loki was standing in front of the fire, arms crossed. He looked back over his shoulder at Tony, lips pressed into a thin line. “Well, I made up my mind. I’m giving this place zero stars,” Tony said. “There’s not even a minibar.” 

Loki didn’t appear to get the reference, nor did he seem to care. 

“We’ll set out to find the portal in the morning,” Loki said. 

“Or Thor will hurry it up and get back to Asgard to beam us back up,” Tony supplied hopefully. 

“I wouldn’t hold my breath.” 

Tony rolled his eyes. It seemed much more likely to him that Thor would bifrost his way over to rescue them than that they’d find another one of the stupid, freakish portals tomorrow. “Well, as much as I’d love to chat, I’m pretty tired,” Tony said. “I think I’ll go to sleep—” Their eyes met at the same time, the same realization in their heads. 

There was just one bed in the room. 

One single, tiny bed shoved into the far corner. 

And they both wanted it. 

Standing still, they stared each other down, neither daring to make the first move. “If you wish to sleep, you may do so on the floor,” Loki said. 

“Look, I know your thousand year old back is probably pretty rickety, but there’s no way in hell that I’m sleeping on the floor. We mortals need our rest.” Tony decided to chance a move and took one step towards the bed. 

“If you think that I, a prince, would sleep upon the floor, then you are just as foolish as I’d assumed,” Loki said, matching his step. 

“Ex-prince,” Tony pointed out. He took another step that was mirrored just as quickly. “And do you even need to sleep? I just sort of assumed you slunk around like a vampire. It would explain the bags beneath your eyes.” 

“How quaint. I’d assumed you only slept in heaps of filth. It would explain your general appearance.” 

Tony scoffed. “That’s the best you can do? Really?” 

“You’re not taking the bed, Stark.” 

They eyed each other, then dove for the bed at the same time. 

It was nothing but flailing limbs after that, elbows in soft places and knees landing in places they shouldn’t. Yelling petty insults back and forth, they tumbled to the floor until Loki hit the ground first, groaning in agony at his injured shoulder. “This looks familiar,” Tony said. “Gotta tell Hulk that we both smashed you into the floor—”

The next thing Tony knew he was lying against the ground with a dull ache in the back of his head. “Shove it, Stark.” Loki rasped, pushing off of him and standing. He laid down on the bed, turning his back to Tony on the floor. 

Tony sat up. He stuck his tongue out at Loki’s backside before rubbing his throbbing head. After a moment, Tony took another glance at the bed. He couldn’t very well stay on the floor. And he sure as hell wasn’t letting Loki win this one. 

Suddenly the mortal’s hand touched Loki’s shoulder, shoving him towards the wall while the mortal wedged his way into the bed. Loki sat up, twisting around with a snarl. “How damaged are you?” 

Tony smiled. “Depends who you ask.” 

Loki’s mouth dropped open for a split second before shutting definitively. “Hey,” Tony said. “You can either take that side and have half of this shitty bed, or we can fight over this until big brother shows up. Or the portal. Whatever. Or,” Tony suggested brightly, “you can let me have the bed.” 

“I am injured,” Loki said. He held his shoulder forward just a bit for show, pretending to wince. 

“Me too,” Tony said, pouting. 

Loki dismissed him with disgust. “Turn the fire back up,” Stark ordered, rolling away onto his side. Loki considered it for a half second before shoving him onto the floor. Tony hit with a dull thump. 

“It is sufficient,” Loki said primly. 

Tony scrambled to get up, crawling back onto the bed immediately. “It’s barely keeping this place warm,” he said. He pushed and jostled Loki’s shoulder, but he was being ignored. “What’s the deal? Look weirdo, if you don’t turn it back—”

Loki was on him in a split second, face shadowed and crossing a hazy line that struck fear down Tony’s spine. “I have used my reserves all day assisting in your mortals’ petty quest as a favor,” Loki hissed. “And now I wish to use them on the shoulder injured saving your ungrateful hide.” He released Tony, retreating to his half as a little more light filled the dim room. 

“I saved your ass too,” Tony said. “That one time I caught you when you were falling from the sky.” 

“Then I suppose that makes us even.” Loki shut his eyes. 

“And I would’ve been fine,” Tony muttered. 

“Do be quiet,” Loki said. 

“You first,” Tony answered. 

“I told you first,” Loki said. 

“Shut up.” 

“After you.” 

Tony let out a loud, undignified groan. “Asshole,” he grumbled, curling up on his side. He didn’t want his legs to touch Loki’s. He didn’t want to feel the mattress dipping in that direction, or the body heat coming from that direction, or the soft brush of Loki’s elbow against his back as the god moved. 

Loki squeezed his eyes shut, wishing the fire were louder. He didn’t want to hear the pitiful mortal’s quicker breathing, or feel his body brush against his, or know that just inches from his skin was one of Thor’s shield brothers. He had meant for nothing but a brief mission to assure his own interests and win favor in Thor’s eyes. Not this. 

Still, Stark was the most entertaining of the mortals, if nothing else. It could have been worse. 

They fell asleep slowly, both determinately refusing to acknowledge that there was another in the bed. Howling winds outside and the hazy warmth of the shack lulled their weary bodies into rest. 

Sometime in the night, Loki’s magic faded from the fire. Naturally, they shifted towards the warmth closest to them, not waking. 

 

“There it is,” Clint said, spotting the shack before Thor. He hurried to the door, ignoring the queasy lurch from his stomach post-bifrost. Clint threw it open. Light fell from the door onto the bed. “What the— _what the **hell**_.” 

Someone was talking, but it was probably Pepper. Tony grumbled, cozying his way back towards her and gripping her arm to his chest a bit tighter. She could wait to have him sign off on the ice-cream factory a little longer. 

Since when had his servant felt so entitled as to speak that way? Surely he knew the rules. Loki would skin him after he rose from his sleep. His arm was curled around a pleasant, warm body, and he had no desire to carry out his reprimands now. He started drifting off again. 

“That is…” Thor started, unsure of the most appropriate word. 

Loki knew that voice. He shot up, realizing in the same moment that Stark’s back had been against his chest. He shoved Stark out of the bed. Stark hit the floor with a loud thud. 

Tony groaned in pain. “I said I’d sign it,” he mumbled. 

“Nothing happened,” Loki hissed at his smirking brother. 

“I have said nothing,” Thor said. 

“Your face says it all,” Loki snapped, getting up and retrieving his leathers. Stark was just starting to pull himself up off the floor. 

“Aww—don’t look at me like that, Clint.”

The archer shrugged, daring Stark to contradict him. “Clint, I have standards!” Tony whined, stepping back into his armor. “Low ones, but still. The bar’s not that low.” 

“You flatter yourself, Stark. You are beneath my standing,” Loki said, brushing past him. 

“Please! You’d be lucky to spend a night with me!” Stark called after him. 

“I have and I found it quite unremarkable,” Loki sniped. He strode out into the snow. “Heimdall!” 

Tony was already hurrying to catch up with him, a retort on the tip of his tongue. Clint and Thor hung back in the doorway of the shack.

“Maybe we should’ve left them here,” Clint said. 

“Agreed,” Thor said.


End file.
